So I’m done with my temper tantrum from last week and was down a pound. That means one more to go! It’s still just weird to think about not thinking about losing weight.
I mean I’ll always have to be mindful of what I’m putting in my mouth and I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will always need to track my food unless I want to go back up 70+ pounds. Yes as the title in my blog states I am a serial Weight Watcher and if you go from my very first (and highest) weight with Weight Watchers I’ve lost 79 pounds.
You do what works and that’s what works for me.
It’s funny when you lose a lot of weight. You get a lot of compliments of course and there are also a lot of things that can derail you if you let them.
When you are overweight you get treated a lot differently than when you are not. You are almost invisible when you are an overweight woman (and maybe man, sorry guys I can’t speak for you), and when all of a sudden you are not it can make you almost uncomfortable or have negative thoughts.
Like the other day – I was at the gas station and this young man jogged past me to open the door for me. It was a very nice gesture and I said thank you, but those thoughts entered my mind – he wouldn’t have done that 60 pounds ago.
This particular person very well could have, but in my experience that’s not the case. You can let things like that bother you, or you can just accept the nice gesture.
Having those thoughts or negative feelings will not change the way people are treated one way or the other. I had a revelation a few months ago, and it has totally changed the way I think of myself, other women, and how we treat each other.
You see I was in the bathroom at work when a couple of women came in. They were talking and laughing. I guess they didn’t notice that someone else was in there because one proceeded to say “God have you seen how much weight Kelly has lost? She looks great!” The person with her said, “Yeah, but she’s done that before. She’ll gain it all back in no time.”
I sat there, literally, dumbfounded. Normally I am not a person who would keep quiet about something like that, but this one….Oh dear God I just prayed I wasn’t discovered. I didn’t know what to say to that.
They left without finding out I was in there and I waited a few minutes to be sure they wouldn’t see me leave.
When you lose (or gain) weight it makes you a target for conversations like this. When you lose people say it to you, and things like “you look great!” turn into “oh you are to skinny eat a sandwich!”.
When you gain obviously they are saying it behind your back.
Instead of letting this send me of the rails I really thought about it. I thought about how I talk about women. Am I innocent in not saying something like “man her butt got big”?
Nope. I’m not innocent of it, and more than likely neither are you.
Of course I’d never say that to someone’s face or make a snide comment if I thought they would know about it. We as women are way worse to each other than society, the media, or men.
It is a reflection of ourselves and our insecurities with our own weight when we say negative, nasty things.
I had this one female say something like, “I want to lose weight too, but I know at our age you just are left with a bunch of nasty loose skin”.
Passive aggressive anyone?
Before my revelation that might have bothered me, but I realize that statement wasn’t aimed at me. It’s not me, it’s you and your own insecurities with your body.
I can’t change other people’s behavior, but I can change mine. I can refuse to knock down other women with negative talk and actions.
Until we as women stop doing it to each other we can never expect society to stop doing it.