So…

Something magical happens when you become a part of an online community. You even get to be an inspiration to some, and I think that might be the best part of all. Being that person that shows someone “hey, this can be done,” is wonderful.

There’s another side to this coin, and I’ve talked about it a bit, but not as much as I should. You can be that person where people point and say, “I knew it wouldn’t last.”

I haven’t gained all my weight back. I haven’t even gained half of it back, but I am in danger of inching that way if I don’t slow my roll. Why is this all coming up now? Well I went the one place you can’t hide – video.

Pictures are easy to choose – look for the right angle, right position of the head. I miss the days when I didn’t worry about things like that. Really, we shouldn’t worry about things like that anyway. We are who we are, right?

Easier said then done. I put off doing this video until I lost 20 pounds. Like five times I put this video off.

I will be the first to admit that in the not to distant past I might have snickered when I saw someone from high school had gained weight. Now in my defense that was usually only when the person was an A-Hole back then.

After I lost my seventy and some odd pounds something changed in me. I became more compassionate towards that girl who gained all the weight even if she was an A-Hole. I actively worked on changing my thinking about women, and erasing those damaging, negative thoughts.

Now if I could just do that for myself.

Excuse me while I rein my ADHD in and get back to my point. So I wanted to read the first chapter of my book for YouTube. A local cat rescue and sanctuary offered to let me read in their sanctuary with all the cats, and hopefully drive more traffic to their socials and get the wonderful work they do exposed to new people.

This is win/win, right? My book gets out there into the world, and I also help a very deserving charity along the way. Who cares if I need to lose the 25 extra pounds I’m carrying right now.

Even with this thinking I put it off, and put it off, and put it off. The 25 pounds turned to 30 as I found myself having massive health problems, with no end in sight. Finally I said enough is enough and scheduled with the shelter and with a videographer.

I thought it went well and I even wore a comfy sweater from their online store. When the video came back I was in for a shock – I did not video well, or at least in my opinion I didn’t.

The clothes I wore were a couple of sizes to big. It was hotter than hell and my hair went wonky from the humidity. Looking down while reading a book did no favors for my fifty-year-old face.

Was I seriously going to put this on the internet?

I’ll admit – I didn’t put a whole lot into my appearance that day. I was having a bad day. Shout out to those of you with illness that know having a bad day is so not good. Run down and tired, I slapped on a bit of make up and half did my hair. Then it rained a bit and got humid as hell. Shout out to those of you that can have beautiful, sleek hair one minute and a frizzy mess the next.

I had to stop myself. Not stop myself from posting it, but stop myself from having these thoughts. The one thing that pushed me to do this was the fact that I might help this organization and help the animals. While I’m reading (rather poorly I might add. I’m not voice actor) my first chapter, the video cuts to some of the animals up for adoption.

Am I that vain that I’d miss the chance to help these animals because I looked bad that day? I have an aversion to filters for pictures. I don’t use them. I’ll tell you what though. If I could find a big filter to put on this video I would 🙂

So it turns out I’m not that vain and I do want to help these kitties. They come from the heartbreaking places in life and get a second chance through this wonderful organization.

If you get a moment, please check out the video! You might find your new best friend, or become inspired to help this wonderful organization. There are links in the description box to help them!

Like, Comment, and Share the video also! We need to get the word out to help this awesome group!

Here’s the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeN5b7B7xCo

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Like my blog?  My first, second, and third novels have been released!  It’s set in a small, holiday obsessed town, and if you love Hallmark movies you’ll love this book series!

The first book in the series is called Going Home. Becca, our heroine,  returns home after a 25 year absence to reclaim a sentimental family heirloom.  She hopes to go in and out unnoticed, especially by the man she’s loved since she was eight years old.

The odds are stacked against Becca, small towns being what they are.  Her 25 year old secret is about to be exposed, and she just might get a second chance at love.

Click here for a look inside!

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