How I Went from a Fat Hooker to a Happy Garden Fairy

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So I am going to do a give-a-way worth over $200 for all my faithful followers!  More on that at the end of the post!

Halloween is coming.

Forgive me but I’ve been catching up on Game of Thrones.

What a difference a year makes, eh?

Anyway, I love Halloween.

Like I really love Halloween…



As I’ve gotten older my love for Halloween has increased.  Probably because I was raised by her:


Now that I’m older and don’t take any littles trick-or-treating I do what any adult with no responsibilities would do.

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For the Newbs

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Losing weight is hard.  Being fat is harder.

That’s what I tell myself whenever I want to throw in the towel, when I get sick of watching what I eat, when I want to make a ton of comfort food (and eat it too).

I’ve had a lot of activity on my blog and in the interwebs this week since hitting my goal weight.  I have had such a huge amount of support and love thrown my way that I am seriously overwhelmed.  In a good way of course!

My Facebook Page has been seriously active and I’ve gotten hundreds of messages about what I’ve done.  I think I’ve finally answered them all, and thanked all the people that commented on the posts going around the ‘net this weekend.  It was important to me to say thank you or at least love their comment if they took the time to say “wtg girl!”.

A bunch of you also said you were going to try Weight Watchers, and this post is for you.  I imagine some of the things I am going to talk about will help with other weight loss/lifestyle plans too.  So here are some of the most asked questions I received and some sage advice from someone who’s been there, left, been there again and finally bought the damn T-Shirt.

Do you follow the Weight Watcher plan everyday, or do you do a cheat day?

I once had a girl in my WW meeting ask me how I was losing weight.  Ummm I do Weight Watchers…lol  Seriously though, this whole do I totally follow the program question came up over and over and over.

Yes, I follow the program.  Completely.  Does that mean I have always stayed within my points and done everything perfectly?  Hell no.

As human beings we are designed to not be perfect.  Did I have days that I went over my 30 points?  Yes.  Did I track every single one of those points?  Yes.  Did I get right back on the wagon the next day?  Yes.

Don’t sweat messing up.  It happens.  You just need to start sweating when you not only fall off the wagon, but are drug behind if for miles until it crashes into a fiery heap.

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Weigh In 8-12-17: What Kelly Learned

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I did it.

I reached my goal.

I am now at a healthy weight.


I need to shop for clothes that fit me right…lol

I’m still in shock.  I don’t want to lose weight.  I mean I was probably like a little kid the last time I thought that, and I’m 46 years old now.

I didn’t spend my whole adult life as big as the posted picture, but I did for the last couple of years.  I had always battled my weight though, and probably spent most of my twenties around the weight I am now +5 or 10, and then packed on 20 or so pounds in my 30’s and then 30 or 40 pounds in my 40’s.

I figure now is a good time to reflect on what I’ve learned and why I was successful.

All About the Math

No matter what diet you follow – and I don’t mean diet as in losing weight I mean diet as in what we consume is called a diet – It will eventually come down to calories put into your body vs. calories you burn.

Yeah, some calories will keep you full longer, some have more nutritional value, and some might make you bloat up like a balloon but there is one thing for sure:

Math. Don’t. Lie.

The way that you control that number is a very personal thing.  You have to find the right help, and you best make sure it’s something you can live with for sure, because if you just go back to your own habits the minute you get close to where you want to go, you’re toast.

Speaking of Numbers…

I’ve learned to not dread the scale.  Far to many people. myself included, have used that little contraption to judge their self worth.  It is simply a tool to gauge your progress, and sometimes it’s a stubborn little bitch that doesn’t give us what we want.  Hell sometimes it doesn’t give us what we deserve.

A salty dinner, hormones, a full moon….So many things factor into what we weigh.  I had weeks where I stayed the same even though my nutrition and exercise were on point.  Then I’d stay the same the next week.  Then I’d lose 6 pounds the third week.  It will eventually show up, because as I said before….

Math. Don’t. Lie.

While the scale isn’t exactly my best friend, I have learned to appreciate it as a valuable (if sometimes unreliable) tool in my quest to become healthy.

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What Kelly Did

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There have been a lot of people asking me “what did you do?” or “how did you do that??” since losing over 50 pounds.

Let me tell you it wasn’t easy, there was no magic pill involved.  I had to eat less calories than I was burning.

Sounds easy though, doesn’t it?  We’d all be thin if that was the case.  There’s that thing called life that gets in the way sometimes.

I’ve just come out to the other side of some bad, bad times.  My Grandma died.  my Grandpa died.  My Mom died.  My Dad died.  My cat and dog died.  All in about 4 years time.

What do you do with that much grief and tragedy at once?  You deal with it however you can.  You put one foot in front of the other until one day it doesn’t feel like you are pulling them out of concrete with each step.

Oh, and I seemed to have ate.  I mean I would eat, then I would not eat, but when I did eat, it was not good things.

I knew I needed to do something when this pic was posted on Facebook:


I didn’t realize it had gotten this bad until that moment.  Don’t you hate it when you go out thinking you look all cute and picture slaps you back to reality?  Funny thing about pulling your feet out of concrete.  You are so focused on that you don’t really notice anything else going on around you.

So I decided to do something about it and here are the results so far:


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